Busy Busy Day & Honest Confession
We went to church this morning so no BF’ing first thing – we overslept! (oops!) Ended up going out to lunch with the family and once we got home I had *planned* on taking a nap. Apparently Charlotte had other plans….and a desperate need for a pacifier. So no nap for me. She didn’t nurse really, just needed me to fall asleep.
We went over to Chris’ parents house for dinner when Alli got up from her nap so another tube feeding. When we got home, Charlotte was being fussy so I decided to try and nurse to calm her down. She nursed pretty well for almost three minutes – deep GOOD sucks and she was clearly getting something because she would swallow and do that eye-close dream world thing that all babies do when they’re happily nursing away. She’s still freaking out about the milk but not about it in her mouth, now she freaks out when it comes time to have to swallow. Another step in the right direction. We’re still stumbling here and there but that’s to be expected. I think we’re making terrific progress considering tomorrow will be just two weeks out from her cleft repair. I am very proud of her (and of me).
The hard part for me now is adjusting to our “new” routine. I had become so laissez faire with being able to hook her up to her pump and feed her or have her take a bottle in less than 5 minutes that adjusting to her wanting to be at the breast nearly 24/7 is really wearing me out. It’s like having a newborn all over again but she’s five months old! I feel kind of guilty for not wanting to BF’d her sometimes because I’ve worked SO hard towards this goal but I guess in a way it’s to be expected because it IS such a huge adjustment. With our first, it was on demand nursing and that’s the way it was… with Charlotte, we’ve been on a schedule since she was born and that schedule is slowly creeping it’s way out the door. You think I’d be happy to see it go but in a weird way I’m not. I know that once we get things really rolling in this department I’ll feel better about everything and I AM thrilled at how well she’s doing with nursing. Shocked, actually. I am looking forward to many more nursing experiences with her, whatever they may be!
